The philosophy of love

Mea Culpa: Im not feeling too well today, but fever makes me stubborn, and I so going to blog. All halluscinatory expressions are caused by fever, not by anything fancier.

I was about to blog about Sam, but today, today I am only going to talk about the Boy.

He was the first love of my life.

He is the only man whom I have loved to such an extent that I was willing to give up on every semblance of my identity just to please him.

He was the most toxic of my relationships.

I learnt the most about relationships from him.

And today he got married. ( Or tomorrow? Im not very sure, and frankly I couldnt care less, but for dramatic effect, lets say today.)

And the girls checked me out. They wanted to know how I was doing. They wanted to know if I plan to marry. The wanted to know, bless their sweet souls, if I was holding out for him.

I was able to answer them witt utter honesty. I am doing good. I enjoy being with myself, and I am not afraid of my singlehood. I may marry - if I meet the man whom I know will be a good dad to my kids; a man who can be loved with all his imperfections.

No, I was not holding out for him. I am holding out for someone who think that marriage need not be boring, need not be unimaginative. He might be 90, and I may get to spend only a few months with him, but still I would call that a life worth living.

In a song, it must be like this - and thanks Bollywood for coming up with a song for every situation! There are basically some crapazoid English lyrics, sounds like a BackStreet Boys song. And I mean it in a totally yuck way. Ive removed them. Its the beauty of Hindi & Urdu which entices me.

And here is the song from U, Me aur Hum : Worth a hearing... but watch the movie at your own risk...

Apne rang gawaen bin, mere rang mein ghul jao

Apni dhoop bujhaye bin, meri chhao mein aa jao

Oh chalo yoon kare,Tum, tum bhi raho, main, main bhi rahoon

Hum, hum bhi rahein

Teeno mil ke saath chale

Saathi janam janam, u me aur hum.

Without losing your colors, merge with mine

Without losing your heat, come to my shade

Lets do this - You be you, I'll be me

And we'll be us

And all three will travel together

As friends over lifetimes; U, me and us

Jaise baadal paani ka, yaarana hai

Jaise gul aur khushboo ka, dostana hai

Waise hee rahein hum tum

Waise hi jiyein hum tum

Tere mere haathon mein, koi bhi pinjara na ho

Ek duje par apna,

Haq toh ho kabza na, ho har haal mein,

Tum, tum tum bhi raho, main, main bhi rahoon

Hum, hum bhi rahein

Like the companionship of cloud and water

Like the friendship of rose and fragrance

Let us be like that

Let us live like that

Lets not try to cage each other

On each other

Lets have our claim, but not control or possessiveness

You be you, I'll be me

And we'll be us

Ek din toh who lamha, bhi aana hai

Dono me se ek ne, chale jaana hai

Baatein yeh sabhi hum tum, jaanlein abhi hum tum

Dono mil ke saath mein, aise jeena seekh lein

Taaki jo peeche rahein, usko na ho mushkilein
Oh chalo yoon jiye, agar main na rahoon

Ya tum na raho, hum, hum hee rahein

Jaise saaya saath chale, saath rahein hardum

U me aur hum

One day, that moment too will come

When one of us will have to leave

Let us realize these truths right now

And learn to live life such that

Whoever is left behind wont have a tough time

Lets live like this; if I'm not there

Or if you are not there, we will still be us

Like how a shadow keeps one company,

We will keep each other company

U, me and us.

My only grouse is that this song did not get relased during my dumbo years. It would have given me a lot of clarity on what I wanted from life and saved me a lot of money, time and effort! :o)